And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
