She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
