You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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