You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
