Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
