I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
