aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
