What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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