I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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