Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
