i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
