is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
