Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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