Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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