All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
