worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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