just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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