Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
