I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I am one with the molecules
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
