People with herpes should wear stickers.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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