I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
