Sry I called you an 8
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
