they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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