i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
