Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
