Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
