i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
