how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
