Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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