I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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