as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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