He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
