How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
