Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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