I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
