oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
