i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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