Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.