A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan