I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
A+ Viking dick
lying in bed pretending to be a slug