i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
