Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard