put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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