Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize