you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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