i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
