I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
