So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
