i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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