Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
