why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
