So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
