Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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