i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize