So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
