It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
