Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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