You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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