I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
