Don't make out with my wife yet
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
