I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
