Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
