So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
